Saturday, August 28, 2010

Commercials for "Feminine Hygiene Products"

Is anyone else annoyed by that new Vagisil commercial that equates "feeling confident" with having a scentless hoo-ha? (I would have embedded the clip in this post but I couldn't find it anywhere.) I wish that I could write that this is one stupid commercial dreamed up by one misogynistic ad exec but unfortunately, I've spent the last thirty-three years watching a barrage of commercials that implied that women can only feel good about herself if her nether regions are "fresh".









Seriously? I know that eighty kazillion studies have proven that unrealistic images of the female body hurt women's confidence. I know that real life sexist/discriminatory treatment from parents, teachers, employers, and even strangers damage a woman's faith in herself. I know that being the victim of rape, intimate partner violence, sexual harassment, and other types of gender-specific violence can wreck a woman's self-esteem. But a vajayjay that probably doesn't even smell bad? C'mon!

Newsflash! If a woman doesn't have an infection and practices good personal hygiene--you know, washes herself with soap and water everyday--her genitals still aren't going to smell like fresh cut roses. They aren't supposed to.  And guess what? A clean uninfected penis has an aroma to it, too.

That being said, I wonder why there isn't a market for Penisil wipes or washes.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Indiana Court Strikes Down Racial Bias in Nursing Homes

I can't believe that anyone is so blinded by prejudice that they would turn up their noses at a qualified caretaker in their time of need. But what I also can't believe is an organization devoted to providing medical care would go along wtih such a stupid request. After all, the woman who fell to the floor could have died in the time it took to hunt down a white nurse. Anyways...

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Television Shows I've Never Watched

I recently overheard two neo-yuppie types on the Manhattan-bound 4 train waxing poetic over the latest Sex and The City Movies. Even if I had wanted to follow the conversation (and trust me, I didn't), I couldn't have anyway because I've never seen either movie. I skipped both the films because--dun, dun, DUN!--I've never watched a single episode of the series which inspired it .

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I'm one of only, like, twelve women in the universe who's never seen SJP practice her craft on the small screen. (I'm one of millions who haven't seen on the big screen, either, but I digress.) I was living with my parents when the show debuted in 1998 and they didn't have cable. By the time I got cable access, I'd heard all the feminist commentary that slammed the show's raunchy subject matter, heterosexism, consumerism/elitism, and unrealistic lack of racial diversity in the cast. It turned me off from a show that I most likely wouldn't have become religious about anyway.

After I got off the train, I began to think about all the other "it" shows I never checked out. Maybe I'm past the point in my life where I don't feel the need to keep up with conversations revolving around tv shows; maybe I've just been too busy. Or, perhaps, I just got too attached to Heroes, Law And Order, 30 Rock, and My Name Is Earl to venture away from NBC.

All of the shows on this list below (1) aired or debuted sometime during the last ten years and (2) never could boast of my viewership.













  1. 24
  2. Lost
  3. Survivor
  4. Desperate Housewives
  5. Curb Your Enthusiasm
  6. Mad Men
  7. Entourage
  8. The Apprentice
  9. The Bachelor/The Bachelorette
  10. Grey's Anatomy   (Ok, Ok, I've watched a few episodes once it went into syndication)
  11. Ugly Betty
  12. How I Met Your Mother
  13. Chuck
  14. Anything in the CSI   franchise
  15. Nip/Tuck
  16. True Blood
  17. Dexter
  18. Weeds
  19. Arrested Development
  20. The Sopranos (My mom tricked me into watching the episode where Summer or Hunter or whatever-the-hell-her-name-is trashed her grandma's house. However, I lost all respect for Tony Soprano--a mafioso who can't discipline a teenager?-- and decided never to watch again)


 

 

 




Is there anyone else out there who hasn't seen a single episode of an "it" show? Please tell me in the comments section.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Totally Gratuitous Pictures of My Cats

I adopted Sweetheart (Sweetie) and Callie nearly a year ago out of the feral cat colony near my place of employment. As you can see from the photos, they have made themselves completely at home.










Obama's A Muslim? Sorry, I Didn't Get The Memo

I don't like to be cynical so I strive to give my fellow humans credit for possessing the capacity for critical thought. Then I read a story like this on the Internet and my whole day gets fucked up.

Are you frickin' kidding me? Seriously, I thought this nonsense got resolved during the presidential race.  Why else would  Rev. Jeremiah Wright's big fat mouth have been able create so many headaches for Team Obama? You don't have to have been to an African-American church recently (or ever) to recognize the 180-degree difference between Wright's pulpit histrionics and a muezzin's call to prayer.

But let's, for the sake of argument, say that Mr. Obama is indeed a Muslim. Is that really a bad thing? In an increasingly globalized world and in an age where East-West tensions are greater than they've been since The Crusades, a United States president who can easily straddle both the Judeo-Christian Western world and the Islamic one is an asset.

A Muslim in the White House would understand the distinction between Sunni Islam and Shi'ite Islam--a distinction that Bush reportedly wasn't aware of even weeks before the invasion of Iraq. A secular Muslim, the type of Muslim that Mr. Obama would be if he were one, would be able to surefootedly guide the country through the murky overlap between the First Amendment commitment to religious freedom and a commitment to separation of church and state. A Muslim in the White House would avoid using the inflammatory rhetoric that likely spurred on "insurgents" in Iraq. (Remember "Bring 'Em On"?) And think about how differently the recently ended War in Iraq would have played out if the war's engineers had understood the cultural nuances of Saddam Hussein's fiefdom before they attacked.

And, most importantly, a Muslim in the White House would force the Osama Bin Ladens of the world to rethink--if not abandon entirely--its propaganda against "The Great Satan". It would be much harder for OBL and his ilk to brainwash terrorist recruits if an observant Muslim had his finger on the button.

And remember, about fifty years ago, conspiracy theorists much like the Obama-is-secretly-Muslim cabal nearly shitted themselves when JFK ascended to The Oval Office. Much like the Islamophobes who are currently whispering about Obama's religious beliefs, anti-papists worried aloud about whether or not Kennedy would be more loyal to the Pope than to the American people. Not only did Kennedy prove his detractors wrong, he became one of the most highly regarded presidents in American history.

So, I say that the media should stop beating this dead and decomposing horse. Discussing this non-issue further only distracts the American people for its real problems.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Tampon Commercial

Am I the only person who thinks this ad is hilarious? I hope the ad exec who came up with this one got a BIG raise!


Wednesday, August 18, 2010

My Thoughts on The Plans to Build A Mosque at Ground Zero

"They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety."
--Benjamin Franklin

Although this sentiment is well over two hundred years old, it is just as timely as it ever was. Under no circumstances should we ever allow ignorant demogogues to manipulate us into believing that it is sometimes okay to ignore the Constitution.  That being said, anyone who truly believes in the First Amendment should support plans to build a mosque a few blocks away from Ground Zero..

I can hear the hackles being raised right now. But quite frankly, that is the only logically sound position that an American committed to social justice can take on this issue. And, unlike a lot of the mosque's detractors, I actually live in Manhattan.

Monday, August 16, 2010

90's Nostaglia

I went to the grocery store and saw a woman ten years my junior rocking parachute pants; although I wouldn't be caught dead wearing them now, I fondly remember how much I hated my parents for refusing to buy me a pair when they first came into vogue circa 1990. I watched the first installment of The Matrix Trilogy on television today and I found the special effects to be just as impressive as I originally thought they were back in 1999. Later on this evening, I had Friends and The Simpsons droning in the background as I worked on my screenplay. This weekend, I listened mostly to music that I rocked out to in high school.  (Anyone remember the Red Hot Chili Peppers' Blood Sugar Sex Magik?) And I just realized that nineteen (yes, nineteen!) years have passed since I first set foot in Lowell High School in Lowell, Massachusetts.




I think my 1990's nostaglia is rooted in my much-denied fear of aging. I have fine lines on my forehead and the beginnings of  what cosmetic surgeons call nasolabial folds.  At the age of thirty-three, I have officially reached the point where I am closer to menopause than I am to puberty. I am also beginning to realize that many of my dreams have not come true because they cannot possibly come true--at least not anymore.



I think I'm also afraid of passing away without having made my mark on the world. I am much too narcissistic to content myself with enjoying a simple life. I have an overly strong need to make a name for myself.

I wish I didn't mourn my passing youth but, alas, I do.

Screenplay Progress Report #2

I have 51 properly formatted pages so far and no writer's block to speak of. Which is a good thing, considering that the deadline for this contest that I found out about last month in September 1st. I'm going to keep on trucking. I keep referring to myself as an "aspiring" screenwriter but I've recently come to the realization that I actually have to write and (attempt to) sell scripts to do so truthfully.

One bit of bad news: I just found out that the "Courier New" font offered by my version of Microsoft Word Office Home and Student 2007 is the mark of amateurs which means that I will have to download FinalDraft software to properly format my masterpiece. (I did the rest of the formatting the old fashioned way by setting tab stops and margins.)

The rest of the screenplay is going well.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Ben Quayle Says Obama "The Worst President Ever"

Ben Quayle, Republican candidate for Congress, has recently released an ad slamming the current president as being the worst one ever.

First off, I wonder why people are so intent on performing autopsies on an administration that is still very much alive. And why are people so confident that Obama won't be able to turn it around? For that matter, why are people shocked that it's taking time for Obama to clean up the (very big) messes that his predecessor left for him? Let's be real here. Unlike any of the United States presidents, Obama inherited TWO unpopular wars, a recession, and damaged international relations. He's also dealing with the worst ecological disaster in US history, continued threats from terrorists (plus war crimes tribunals and the closing of Gitmo), entrenched resistance from the opposition party, and those crazy-ass birthers. Give the dude a break!

And, second, why of all people is someone like Ben Quayle making these statements? If anything, he is the Gen Y incarnation of another man who was also dubbed "The Worst President Ever."

Like President Obama's predecessor, George W. Bush, Dan Quayle's second son is a photogenic-but-dumb-as-a-box-of-rocks son of privilege who, incidentally, has no previous political experience. I've made up a short but of informative list of comparisons.

Bush: Is the son of a former Republican vice-president, George Herbert Walker Bush.

Quayle: Is the son of a former Republican vice-president, Dan Quayle, who, coincidentally, served under GWB's father.

Bush: Ran for Congress from Texas. Despite the fact that he claimed to be a Texan, Bush was born in Connecticut and left the state to receive an elite education at age fifteen, only returning to do service in the Texas Air National Guard in 1968. He left the state again a few years later to attend Harvard Business School, only returning to the state permanently in the mid-1970s.

Quayle: Is running for Congress from another Southwestern state, Arizona. Born in Indiana, he received all of his education at prestigious East Coast schools and only moved to Arizona recently. In fact, he has never voted in an Arizona local election.

Bush: Infamously used his father's political connections to raise money for failed business ventures and to raise money for his political campaigns. However, Mr. Bush has repeatedly played down his father's influence, successfully marketing himself as a down-home cowboy-type.

Quayle: Numerous friends of his father have donated money to the younger Quayle's campaign and two-thirds of his contributions have come from out-of-state sources. Bush 41and his wife Barabra hosted a fundraiser for Mr. Quayle. Mr. Quayle however has downplayed connections to his father, casting himself as an outsider in a state with strong anti-Washington sentiments. (See http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0810/40976_Page3.html for more details.

I guess this goes to show you just how small the good ol' boys club really is. Or maybe this a clue that you don't have to be qualified for a political office if you are the son of a rich, politically well-connected white man.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Progress on Screenplay

I have 32 properly formatted pages on the screenplay that I am trying to write. I need to complete a bare minimum of sixty pages in order to be eligible for the contest I want to enter. I have 26 days to do it.

Pretzel M&M's

Just had a bag of the much-hyped new pretzel M&M's. I guess that these candies were meant to replace poorly selling crispy M&M's but they taste pretty much the same. Not that I'm complaining. I liked crispy M&M's. I also like the almond ones, too.

Friday, August 6, 2010

My Take On Rudy Guiliani's Daughter's Arrest

As someone who lives in NYC, I've been barraged all day by news stories about the arrest of Caroline Guiliani, former Mayor Guiliani's twenty-year-old estranged daughter. She apparently lifted about $100 worth of cosmetics (a "slim roller ball funnel" and hairnet was part of the swag)  from the high-end boutique, Sephora.

I could start venting my spleen about how a poor woman of color like myself never would have been able to shop in a store like that without being followed or, at least, "helped" by a suspiciously friendly store clerk. I could also bitch about how Sephora most likely would have had a poor woman of color like myself prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law instead of declining to press charges as they did with Ms. Guiliani. I could also wonder aloud about how a mayor who won points with his tough-on-crime stance (remember the "broken windows theory"?) could have produced a child who thought it was okay to pilfer things.

But no. Instead, I am going to publicly express my sympathies for Ms. Guiliani. It is my opinion that her decision to shoplift was the proverbial cry for help. And no, I don't think she's a spoiled brat. Caroline has a lot to be upset about.

First, her father's an asshole. He announced his plans to divorce Caroline's mother during a press conference. The problem was that Caroline's mother, actress Donna Hanover, had NOT been notified of this decision beforehand. Hanover then had to get a court order banning Giuliani's new lady, Judith Nathan, from going anywhere near Gracie Mansion or meeting the children before the dust from the divorce proceedings settled. To make matters worse, Giuliani has spent much of the last decade pretty much ignoring Caroline and her older brother, Andrew. He's skipped out on graduations and has admitted to going for long periods of time without speaking to them. Anyone who treats his own children so poorly is basically asking them to self-destruct at a later date.

That's not to say that I approve of what Caroline has done; if this was an attempt to embarrass her dad, she only hurt herself. I also cannot condone Sephora's decision not to press charges. If Caroline Guiliani does not suffer a negative consequence for her criminal behavior, she will only get into more serious trouble later.

But I think that all the people in Caroline's life have already said that. So I'll just wish Ms. Giuliani luck and say a little prayer for her.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Some More Commentary on the Newest Mel Gibson Scandal

I'll get straight to the point. Despite the fact that I believe Oksana Grigorieva to be a gold-digger who voluntarily busted up another woman's marriage, I feel that her allegations of abuse against Mel Gibson to be true. Why else wouldn't Gibson categorically deny them or, at the very least, question the authenticity of the recordings? And why cry "I'm being extorted" and not "I didn't do it"? 

The person that I'm having a hard time believing is Mel's ex-wife, Robyn. She recently swore out a statement claiming that he never abused her during the course of their marriage. I have a hard time believing that. Not because violent men tend to abuse ALL their partners.  Not because he publicly questioned gender equality which is something that wife-beaters are notorious for doing. Not because he had the stones to suggest that his wife wasn't getting into Heaven because "[t]here is no salvation for those outside the [Catholic] Church ."  Not because Robyn has a multi-million dollar divorce settlement still hanging in the balance.

I think Mel was abusive toward his first wife simply because he seemed to spend so much time onscreen pretending not to be married or, more accurately, pretending that the Missus had travelled to The Great Beyond. Is it my imagination or is it that Mel's most iconic roles have him playing a man with a dead wife? Mad Max--widower. Martin Riggs--widower. William Wallace--widower. Rev. Graham Hess from Signs--a widower. He played a recently widowed single father of seven (the same number of children he had with Robyn, coincidentally) in The Patriot. And in 1999's Payback, his character's wife intentionally OD's on heroin after he darkens her doorstep, leaving him to find her body.

I admit, this could have been the very married Gibson's way of avoiding compromising love scenes. (Actors do have to get naked for those.)  But I can't help but to wonder if Gibson sought out these roles as some sort of passive-aggressive wish fulfillment. After all, how else do you get out of a marriage when you're a supposedly committed member of a religious sect that doesn't allow divorce?

I wonder how the soon-to-be ex-Mrs. Gibson took it. I hope she slept with a hammer.

Judge Strikes Down Prop 8! Whoo-hoo!

Am I the only person who is thrilled to death about Prop 8 being overturned? I hope not! For far too long the anti-gay marriage movement has been shaped by mean-spirited dummies who don't even know why they oppose it so vehemently. (Let's be real. No one has ever made a cogent argument against gay marriage.)

And you know what really chafes my ass? People who claim that they support these archaic bans in order to protect heterosexual marriage. Protect it from what?  I refuse to believe that gays and lesbians are plotting to make it impossible for me to walk down the aisle with Taye Diggs when he finally gets around to noticing me.

Anyways...