Obama's A Muslim? Sorry, I Didn't Get The Memo

I don't like to be cynical so I strive to give my fellow humans credit for possessing the capacity for critical thought. Then I read a story like this on the Internet and my whole day gets fucked up.

Are you frickin' kidding me? Seriously, I thought this nonsense got resolved during the presidential race.  Why else would  Rev. Jeremiah Wright's big fat mouth have been able create so many headaches for Team Obama? You don't have to have been to an African-American church recently (or ever) to recognize the 180-degree difference between Wright's pulpit histrionics and a muezzin's call to prayer.

But let's, for the sake of argument, say that Mr. Obama is indeed a Muslim. Is that really a bad thing? In an increasingly globalized world and in an age where East-West tensions are greater than they've been since The Crusades, a United States president who can easily straddle both the Judeo-Christian Western world and the Islamic one is an asset.

A Muslim in the White House would understand the distinction between Sunni Islam and Shi'ite Islam--a distinction that Bush reportedly wasn't aware of even weeks before the invasion of Iraq. A secular Muslim, the type of Muslim that Mr. Obama would be if he were one, would be able to surefootedly guide the country through the murky overlap between the First Amendment commitment to religious freedom and a commitment to separation of church and state. A Muslim in the White House would avoid using the inflammatory rhetoric that likely spurred on "insurgents" in Iraq. (Remember "Bring 'Em On"?) And think about how differently the recently ended War in Iraq would have played out if the war's engineers had understood the cultural nuances of Saddam Hussein's fiefdom before they attacked.

And, most importantly, a Muslim in the White House would force the Osama Bin Ladens of the world to rethink--if not abandon entirely--its propaganda against "The Great Satan". It would be much harder for OBL and his ilk to brainwash terrorist recruits if an observant Muslim had his finger on the button.

And remember, about fifty years ago, conspiracy theorists much like the Obama-is-secretly-Muslim cabal nearly shitted themselves when JFK ascended to The Oval Office. Much like the Islamophobes who are currently whispering about Obama's religious beliefs, anti-papists worried aloud about whether or not Kennedy would be more loyal to the Pope than to the American people. Not only did Kennedy prove his detractors wrong, he became one of the most highly regarded presidents in American history.

So, I say that the media should stop beating this dead and decomposing horse. Discussing this non-issue further only distracts the American people for its real problems.